The Extraordinary Gift Of Friendship.
I spent a lovely morning recently with an old friend and I came away feeling that we had put the world to rights with all our chit chat about everything and anything. So, it got me thinking about what an important part of my life my friends are. Because I am back writing again it has increased my awareness of what’s really important and as my page title says, I’m finding the extraordinary in the ordinary every day, and do you know what I’m loving it.
Today I’ve decided to remind myself of the gift that is friendship. I am liable to sometimes take it for granted so it’s a good exercise for me to do. Doing this helps me to connect back, not only with my friends but with myself as well. It’s a two-way channel with its own language and energy. The pleasure of a shared chat, of laughter and understanding refreshes and calms my soul without me even being aware of it.
Think about how you feel when you spend time with a friend; in fact think about how you feel before you even meet them. The anticipation of an arranged catch up has the ability to lighten your day. You come away with a warm glow in your heart in the knowing that you have listened and were listened to. Real friendship is a continuous source of healing; it affirms our sense of belonging, which also increases our security and wellbeing. Friendship, true and real is as essential as breathing. We just need to remind ourselves occasionally .Now we don’t need to go mad here. If we start telling those close to us how much we love them constantly, we might end up with nobody! But just this once, to all my friends, old and new I do love and appreciate you in my life.Ahhhh.
Our first experience of relationships is with our parents. How this relationship develops does affect us. As children we learn from watching those adults and how they interact with each other affects us deeply. At that early stage of our development we are like sponges, absorbing experiences that go on to influence our own interaction with people we meet. Our friendships as children were so simple. Children can have a massive big row with tears and tantrums but it can all be over in minutes. At that tender young age, we loved/cried/laughed easily and so experienced all these positive emotions in abundance with a simple pure innocence. If only we could hold on to a small nugget of that childlike simplicity in the complicated daily handling of ups and downs. Unfortunately, as we get older everything becomes complicated or at least we make it that way.
For me, friendship is about accepting myself, warts and all. It’s about accepting my friends as they are. It’s about not trying to be something just to please someone else. It’s about knowing, and been known by someone, who sees the bad and good in me, and still actually likes me in spite of the bad stuff [and we do all have some bad stuff!]. It’s about not judging, criticising or trying to change someone else to my way of thinking. I might think I know it all and am always right but after alot of years growing I know I’m not the expert I thought I was!
When we look, at the various people in our lives we begin to distinguish our friend ships from our acquaintances and sure that’s grand. With some, we might share our deepest thoughts and with another, we will have the craic. It’s interesting to stand back and look though, as we are then able to see and appreciate all the different people in our lives.
Sometimes, any traumatic event makes us think about life and makes us realise how lucky we are to have formed good relationships. We may even be surprised by the kindness and caring of someone who we hadn’t really given much thought to. An experience like this certainly makes us appreciate the good in people and increases our empathy of others when they are in a similar situation. And again it’s all part of the learning. Didn’t I tell you I have accepted that I’m a permanent student of life!
I have a few good friends from my years training as a nurse. We don’t see each other too often. But no matter how much time passes between calls we can connect in such a natural special way. If ever I need anything, I know I can ring, and the same goes for them. This natural friendship stems from spending our formative years together. From 18 to 21 or so, we lived worked and partied together. We did a lot of growing up in those times and so we all came to know each other very well. There is a great familiarity when we meet. Once we get past the dodgy knees, sore backs, hips, hot flushes etc etc the craic is mighty. No matter how many years pass we are able to reconnect effortlessly. Once we get past the wrinkly bits the essence of the person never changes and what a sense of comfort that is.
There is no point, then meeting up with old friends and trying to be something, we’re not. Reunions can be so funny. When everyone gets together, it’s a bit strange but after a while, it’s as though the years have slipped away and everyone is back to how they were. There’s always one though, who will come along with a whole new accent or persona that he or she has developed over the years. It can be funny because underneath the person is still the same and everyone will remember him or her as she was, the moral being there’s no point trying to be something you’re not when you are among old friends and acquaintances!!!!
Today why not give a few moments thinking about who you really value and why. Maybe you could arrange to meet a friend for coffee. Maybe you have neglected to contact someone for ages and maybe now is the time to do so. Maybe there is someone you know who is having a hard time, why not pick up the phone and say hello. Life really is too short. All we have is NOW so don’t waste a second of precious time. Don’t ever underestimate the power of that simple call or text.
I know how I feel when I receive such a message at a time when I need it. It encourages me to do likewise for a friend when they need it. Whatever you choose to do today you will feel better for having done so. Just knowing there is someone there, can transform the direction of a whole day. Have you ever woken up and felt that no one really cares [they do really but you’re just feeling sorry for yourself!] imagine then how you feel when someone rings you to go for a walk or a cuppa. So why not brighten someone’s day with a thought, a call or a text. Friendship’s old and new teaches us to give and receive without expecting anything back but the rewards on every other level are endless. So what the heck are you waiting for!! By the way I’ll know if you have read to the end if I get a message from my friend
