ode to a crutch and merry christmas !!!

bernie kirwan
9 hours ago
3 min read

Week 11, and I think I’ve finally turned a corner… though honestly, I’m sick of hearing myself talk about my own knee. If it had its own Instagram account, I’d unfollow it.

We went away on a mini-break to the Causeway Coast, and maybe the rest did me good. Of course, I didn’t actually get a break from my knee — it insisted on coming with me — but there’s something about a change of scenery that feeds the soul (and in my case, feeds everything else too, because we ate VERY well). There may also have been the odd tipple. My trusty crutch kept me upright like a slightly judgmental friend making sure I didn’t topple over after dessert.

I’m definitely improving, though I still need the crutch when I’m out and about. And that’s fine! Isn’t it good to admit we all need a crutch sometimes — physically, emotionally, or in the form of a strong coffee

I’ve found myself doing plenty of thinking and there's not a thing wrong with saying that sometimes I'm not as strong as I think When the time comes, I’ll park it proudly and maybe even give it a little retirement ceremony.

The past 11 weeks have flown by in one way and dragged in another. I’m celebrating the small wins: walking up and down the pool, and even starting to swim again. I’ve discovered my left leg is basically a rebellious teenager — weak, unpredictable, and doing its own thing. I’m working on taming it.

I still tire easily, so I’ve decided to buy myself a really good tonic. Something that promises energy, vitality, and maybe even a new personality if I’m lucky. A knee replacement is no small thing — it’s dramatic whether you want it to be or not — but I can finally see a little light at the end of the tunnel. I’m retraining my walk too, because apparently, before surgery, I had invented my own unique style of limping. Pain will make you walk in ways no choreographer would approve of.

But through it all, I’m grateful. Truly. Every morning I start the day with gratitude for the little things — the things I can do, the progress I’ve made, and the fact that my knee and I are slowly learning to get along again.

Happy Christmas everyone. Don’t get too bogged down with all the madness and just enjoy the being. I've had to slow myself down and that's been ok so I'm staying in slow mode for the next while .

It’s easy to get swept up in the rush for the “perfect” gift . But the older I get, the more I realise that the things we unwrap don’t stay with us nearly as long as the moments we live. [Told you I've been thinking alot.]

It’s the memories that matter. The badly timed jokes pulled at the dinner table. The slightly lopsided tree , the familiar songs that take us right back to childhood. The quiet cup of tea shared after the house finally settles.

The people — some still here, some only held in our hearts — who shaped every Christmas before and still colour every Christmas now.

Long after gifts are forgotten, it’s these moments that glow.

They become the stories we retell, the comfort we carry, the invisible gifts we pass down without even realising.

Christmas isn’t really about what we receive — it’s about what we remember.And in the end, those memories are worth more than anything that could ever fit under a tree.